Underwater Surprises

So I can tell you there's a bevy of things you don't want to see underwater when you are swimming in it. Typical things come to mind including -- but not limited to -- alligators, snakes, large snapping turtles, and the like.

Fortunately, most swim training takes place in a pool, where you won't see anything scary.

Right? Wrong.

Over the past years I have been privvy to some scary things, and some scary stories as well. Not to mention the downright weird.

- Bandaids. Both popular and frequent. You get over these pretty easily because hey, it's a pool. Chlorine will kill anything, right?

- Children. Now I love kids, but my gym has the same water system for the lap pool and the zero-depth-entry kiddie pool, full of little potentially incontinent ones and their swim diapers. There's been more than one time that the word E. Coli has passed through my brain over and over. And over.

- Poop. I love this true story: from a dear relative - who was hurriedly escorting her daughter ("Mommy, I have to poop! I think there is some in my bathingsuit") from a poolside party to the bathroom. The child (you know who you are) danced by the trash can before being whisked away to the potty. Upon arrival, she no longer had to go. Miracle. There was no evidence in the swimsuit. Walking back to the party, the mom saw It by the trashcan. As the careful Mom knelt to trap and trash It, the child sqealed "OOOOO! MOOMMMY! POOOOOOOP!" The mother simply said: "Be. Quiet. It's. Yours." Classic.

- Corn. Ahh, yes, corn, the summer BBQ pleaser. But let me tell you...seeing a kernel of corn that looks - I think the word I used to describe it to my friends was "tired" - is *almost* enough to make you end a long swim workout before it ever starts. Again I say to you: E. Coli.

- Nuts. No, not another food item. Sadly. A friend of mine (names are held back to preserve the victimized) saw a guy do a flip turn. He went one way, his speedo went another, and the contents of his speedo were suspended - and exposed - in full view of my traumatized but amused friend.

- Copulation. Unbelievably, this same friend was at a very popular, very nice facility doing her swim workout when she noticed some commotion at the end of the lap lane adjacent which was the open swim area. She thought it was wrestling at first, then she noticed it was a couple. Rhytmically wrestling. Repeatedly. I am not kidding.

- Pink Speckled Speedos. Black speedos are the preferred training fashion for the male triathlete. Ones that are speckled with swirls of pink and yellow are not advised. Especially if they are on your ex boyfriend. Again. I am not kidding.

- An Entire Troop of Fully Clothed Boy Scouts. No really! This was tonight. I was doing laps and noticed about a baker's dozen of 10 year oldish boys on the pool deck with a few adult men. On the next lap, one of the men was in the water. On the next lap, a man and one boy. In khakis and a button down. On the next lap, all of them. This was almost too much to comprehend. What? A dare? A birthday? AS IF it could get more weird, they began undressing. Underwater. I may remind you that I am breathing on the right side so I am only getting a glimpse every few yards. Am I awake? Is this real? FINALLY I see as I do a length of kickboard drills - I mean come on, I had to see what was going on - they were learning how to tie off pant legs to make impromptu life vests. THANK GAWD...apparently they were boy scouts working on a survival badge (the much-sought "What to Do if You are Dropped Into a Pool at Lifetime Fitness While Wearing Khakis and a Buttondown" Badge). If that's required for making Eagle Scout, things have changed since my brother went through in the 70s.

Occasionally there are the moments that make it worthwhile. Seeing a fit athlete next to you...especially if you are married to him. Spending a day at the outdoor pool with your friends, taking turns doing swim workouts. Having a 7 year old boy ask your husband as you swim off: "Is she Olympic"?

And yes. Those moments are worth even the tired corn and boy scouts. So long as they are not on the same day.

The Long Run

It's been a long few weeks - in a good way. After recovering from The Cold I turned it back on in the training department in a big way. All in all, over the past two weeks I have gone from feeling that a half ironman in June was a joke...to feeling like it's really doable. The swim is still an issue; my goal there is to get to a place where I can have it be - in the words of Coach Alan - a "non-event". Then, I just focus on the bike and the run.

So in addition to some really good bike trainer workouts, the run is coming along well. Last weekend after missing the prior weekend's long run I put in a 1:30 run for just over 8 miles...I was geared up for 1:40 this Sunday and was alarmed to hear from JoMarie and Amelia that this weekend's scheduled run (for them in DC, for me here in ATL) was 1:50...a whole :20 longer than last week.

Now, :20 isn't long in a vacuum, but daaaaamn long on top of 1:30. Plus, last weekend the last :10 of the run was....rather hellish. Lots of stopping and stretching. SO. Off I went. I headed out to the right along the river and ran to the Chattahoochee Nature Center, and went the half mile around the boardwalk. I tacked on a little bit more to the left then headed back to my :55 rendezvous with a man, a dog, and a bag.

Right on time, I met John who had Tilley in tow, and a bag containing the following: a second Carb-boom, a second water flask, lip balm, a spare long sleeved shirt, and a ziploc bag full of wet wipes. After a quick stretch and goods exchange and dog pickup, off we went in the opposite direction.

Only ten minutes in....trouble. Left side, lower knee...stop and stretch. Repeat every 10 minutes. One last stretch was had once we came off the gravel trail behind the sand company. Then the last :20 of the run...it was actually okay. It was a stable discomfort but no longer a chronic nor worsening feel. We got back to the apartment and Tilley tried to put on the brakes....but we had 9 minutes left. Up to the boathouse again, turnaround, and back. The. Last. Four. Minutes. Took. Forever. But we did it...! 1:50:08 and 9.6 miles. And yes, I *am* counting.

Fueled By Krystal?

Eat Right.

So there's a lot of talk about nutrition. Training nutrtion. What to eat for meals, what to eat pre-workout, what to eat on the bike, the run...what to eat post-workout for optimal recovery. And there are as many opinions as there are products. I am generally a fan of the Hammer product line, but as of late have been simultaneously re-acquanting myself with my Southern roots while re-acquanting myself with training.

Let me give you my favorite example. Workout gels (Gu, Carb-boom, Hammer Gel, Clif shots, etc.) are designed to give you quick and easy access to simple carbohydrates. Sugar. A few weeks ago I was fixing to head out for a morning run and scanned the kitchen for the solution to my complaintive grumbling stomach.

Nothing.

Then, I saw it....my leftover birthday cake from John. I thought - now this is a stretch - as I popped a 2"x2" square - with icing, thank you - into my mouth and chased with water, then headed out the door.

It worked. Apparently the simple sugar compound of the icing as fuel and the tad of protein from the eggs (did I mention the sugar) made for a delightful run fuel. Plus let's face it...when you burp while running, do you want to be tasting a gu...or birthday cake? Cake, please!

In this vein, yesterday I found myself headed to do a brick on Columns drive about an hour late after helping John print some stuff for his finals studies. It was past 11, and I was now hungry again from breakfast. He suggested Krystal for lunch and I thought, why not a single Cheese Krystal (if you don't know that they are small, square, and delicious, you probably shouldn't read this blog because you don't know me well) for a long bike ride? Tender warm bread, cheese, a delightfully thin patty of beef, a solitary pickle, and a dab of mustard and (user added) ketchup...I even had the signature cooked onions left off. How bad could that be for me?

Bad.

About half an hour later I had parked the car in a shady spot, let the 70 degree air blow through the truck while Tilley napped, and I was off. There was a bit of a headwind, so going out was less than great. BURP. Ohhh, yes, there you are again! My little square friend. I then tried to catch a woman in green (never did). Another burp. Not good. I finally settled into a rhythm (trying not to lose too much pace to the three boys about half a loop ahead; they and the Green Lady were my measure of mental success) and am delighted to report that the Krystal stayed down, but not without a fight. By the time I got back to the truck, the Krystal had burned up in my fuel tank and I was ready to run.

I grabbed Tilley and after a quick chat with the Green Lady, we were off along the shady path along the river. Bliss! It was maybe 70 out and just gorgeous. At the turnaround at the riverbank (no gators this time) Tilley met a Golden named Bailey and her sister Trixie, and they played and played in the water while I chatted with their owners...who were going that afternoon to look at Golden puppies. I told them all about Cooper and our brood. Tilley and I had a nice run back to the truck, followed by stretching (me), Recoverite recovery drink (both: she's addicted to it), and a belly towel off (her).

Maybe the Krystal wasn't so bad after all. They do have a cycling team cosponsored by Litespeed after all...maybe it's fate...